Saturday, August 4, 2012

A Perfect Shade of Red Velvet

I have a confession to make.....
I hate Red Velvet Cake!!! And I'm gonna tell you why.....
Somewhere along the course of human history, the human populous had a seed planted in their minds that told them what it is that is considered 'delicious'. And somehow pop culture defined that as Red Velvet Cake.
"Oh my dear friend...", it would say, "Haven't you heard what the hip people are eating these days?? When you order a cake, you order RED VELVET! It is everything you want and more!"
And this is where I begin to get to my point.
Sometimes, in the case of bakery customers, people have no idea what they want. They THINK that they do, but the truth is, they're just going off of what the world tells them that they want. And this is especially true with cakes. And don't get me wrong, everything about Red Velvet Cake sounds appealing. Even the name; "RED VELVET" just sounds so decadent and high class. And anything edible with the word velvet in it just makes your mouth water...
Well I'm here to burst your bubble folks.....
Red Velvet Cake is overrated! EVERY bakery in this country is making butt-loads of cash off of all of you with what is basically chocolate cake with red food coloring! And most of the time (not always, mind you), the cake is returned or refunded due to disappointment.
Now I'm sure there are some of you out there that will swear to the high heavens that I'm crazy, or jaded, OR....lemme guess......I haven't tried your mother/grandma/great aunt/ etc.'s 'World Famous' Red Velvet Cake.... Which you're most likely right! But that leads me to ANOTHER point!
High expectations are endless in the bakery industry! I can't tell you how many times I've experienced in my culinary career someone returning a cake because it didn't taste like the way they remember it. It's a sad fact of these crazy times we live in, but no matter where you go in this country, food is never gong to taste the same.
After years of trading recipes, and minor tweaks to old favorites, odds are that anything from a Lemon Meringue Pie to (in this case) a Red Velvet Cake are going to taste different in let's say Seattle and Tallahassee. It's not good or bad, it just is...
So there you have it folks. My first rant on this blog....take it or leave it, but the next time you go to your local bakery and decide to take a walk on this wild side and order a Red Velvet Cake.....Don't say I didn't warn you! ;)
The Caker Maker

Thursday, June 14, 2012

"A Marble Cake with Bluejays and Venus Flytraps....."

Today at work, my nephew came in with my sister (his mom), to order his 9th birthday cake....
As with any wide-eyed kid with an imagination, and lofty goals for a birthday bash, he already knew EXACTLY what he wanted. See, my nephew's current obsession has been marbles. He has already accumulated quite the collection which, at the drop of a hat, will show you with great enthusiasm and pride. Although, sometimes in the presence of his house, you will come to discover them on your own whilst walking about and finding your foot stumbling on them by happen-chance.
Anyway, to get to the point, the theme of his birthday is marbles, of all shapes and sizes. I quickly made note in my attentive 'be-the-best-uncle-possible' mind. Usually the theme of the birthday is a giant hint telling you what he wants to get. Past hints including an Army birthday, Pokemon Birthday, Magic (trading card game) etc...
I suggested to him a marble cake would be a perfect fit with the theme of the party which he quickly agreed with, only to backtrack within seconds to ask what that would taste like. He liked the sound of it (of course), and went on to describe his vision of the cake to be covered in marbles, bluejays, and venus flytraps.... My sister and I looked at each other in confusion.
"That sounds great dude, but what do those have to do with marbles"
To which I received my first "oh-my-gosh-you-are-so-old-and-uncool" eye roll.
"*sigh*....Those are kinds of marbles..."
"Oh of course they are! heheh..."
The point of this post is not only document my first experience of being an un-hip dorky uncle, but also to confess that I had a moment today where I actually asked myself, "Where has the time flown??" I still to this day remember vividly the day my nephew came into this world, and here today I had him schooling me in the ways of what the cool kids are doin' these days...
And believe me, I know how lucky I am.... how many uncles get to say they've documented their nephew's birthdays EVERY year with specially made cakes? It was just something that hit me blindside, the fact that he was 9!!
"Are you coming to the waterslides with me and my friends tomorrow??"
"Awwe, I would like nothing more bud. But I gotta work tomorrow. But you'll have fun without me, and I'll get to see you on your ACTUAL birthday!"
"Darn..... well I guess that's okay.. Thanks for making my cake!"
"Anytime dude, have a blast tomorrow!"
......Now I need to figure out exactly what a 'bluejay' and 'venus flytrap' look like......

~The Caker Maker

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


9 months later......
Haha! I'm back to commitment! I guess you could say I get distracted easily, but regardless, here I am again!
I must say, my life today is very different than it was when I first created this blog.
I suppose the two biggest happenings since I last posted was that I am now living in a house with three roommates which has been surprisingly a smooth transition. Being who I am, I tend to freak myself out with anything that might 'rock the boat' in my life. I have always strived to lead a low-key, stress free lifestyle, so the idea of living in a house with three other twenty-something year olds would normally send me running in the opposite direction. But it has been good!
And the second big happening has been me coming out of the closet! Something I truly thought I would never have been able to do! Back at the beginning of the year, I attended a personal development school in Vegas on the suggestion of my older sister. It pushed me in ways I needed to be pushed, and eventually lead to me confronting something I've feared to share with the world for most of my life. Thanks to that, I feel much more comfortable to be present in my life so to speak. I feel like the people I love and care for in my life now know the real me, I no longer have to restrain myself or be afraid of the truth. It's been very freeing. :)
And there you have it, a true update in the life of a Caker Maker. Writing always gives me a level of de-stressing and fufillment, so I'm going to do everything I can to stay on the bandwagon this time around! So stay tuned!

The Caker Maker